Alpha Male vs Beta Male


What is the real difference between the Alpha and Beta males? The Alpha male is more of a leader who follows his own advice because he knows he is right. He’s hard-core, brutal, passionate, and holds nothing back. When I think of the Alpha male, visions of Karl Urban as Eomer from Lord of the Rings comes to mind. An intense leader of a banished group, he is powerful, sexually attractive and demanding of those around him. Compare him to Raoul, played by Patrick Wilson, in The Phantom of the Opera and you have two of the sexiest men in films.

Throughout the years, we have read many alpha males – the man who is flawed and in desperate need of an understanding woman to soften his heart and make him see the good in others. I don’t see Alpha males as so unyielding, but injured.The anger and power they show are merely shields put into place because of life’s circumstances. The misunderstood child or adolescent who has built a wall around him to prevent himself from being hurt again. He admires those who have power and longs for that power himself, because he sees the power as a way to prevent others from ever hurting him. This hero is difficult to reach. He may abuse others around him by his brusque manner, but he is oblivious to what pain he causes because to see this pain, would bring him too close to his own pain. Facing that pain opens up his own weakness, something he cannot afford to do.


The Beta male does not have the same appeal to many readers because editors do not like them. The Beta male is the best friend. The man who has compassion, whose heart is open to the women around him. He is good to his family, especially his sisters and mother. To me, the Beta male is a strong man than the Alpha because he knows himself and is comfortable with himself. He has no problem showing his feelings to those he cares about. The heroines do not always see this man as passionate, but his quiet passion is unleashed when they are alone. This man is more like Raoul from Phantom of the Opera. He loves Christine, but is quiet in his support of her decisions. Yet, when they kiss on the roof of the Opera House, you feel the intensity and passion between them. Some feel the Phantom is the ultimate Alpha male for Christine, but if you know the story, you realize she is just mesmerized by his connection to the childhood image of the Angel of Music her father promised. Raoul offers her safety, stability, and love – something she desperately needs and finds just as intriguing.

Popular Alpha Males:
Eomer – Lord of the Rings
Wolverine – Xmen
Sherlock Holmes – Robert Downey Jr.
James Bond – especially Sean Connery and Daniel Craig
Rhett Butler – Gone With the Wind
Beast – The Beauty and the Beast
Captain Kirk – new Star Trek movie






Popular Beta Males:
Aragorn/Strider – Lord of the Rings
Jack – Titanic
Sean Thornton – the Quiet Man
Jean Luc Picard – Star Trek Generations
Prince Phillip – Sleeping Beauty
Captain Von Trapp – beta in disguise – Sound of Music
Noah - The Notebook
Roal - The Phantom of the Opera